Few divorce attorneys are as charming as Harry of “Sex and the City” fame. However, you don’t need to be looking for a new friend in a divorce lawyer.
A divorce lawyer may sometimes play the role of therapist or friend, but that’s not his job. The key when looking for a divorce lawyer is not to necessarily pick the most charming personality out there. You’re not looking for a new husband; just someone competent enough to handle your divorce and not cause you additional drama in the process.
If you’re a woman, it might feel uncomfortable to talk to a strange man about your private affairs. Unfortunately, the divorce lawyer market is saturated with male attorneys; finding a woman lawyer might be tough. However, if your heart is set on discussing intimate matters only with a fellow woman than you can probably find someone that fits the bill. Just keep in mind that it will likely take longer, and you may not have a lot of choices as far as your budget.
Divorce lawyers aren’t necessarily cheap, especially if you’re dealing with child custody and/or property issues. Expensive doesn’t equal expertise; cheap doesn’t equal a shady law practice.
Most divorce lawyers will give you a free or low-priced consultation. If you call or e-mail a law firm and immediately feel pressure to make a hiring decision, then run away! This lawyer can in some cases help make or break your divorce settlement and/or parenting rights. Anyone who tries to immediately rush you into a major financial decision is not looking out for your best interests, but more interested in lining his own possibly already-overstuffed wallet.
Before meeting for that consultation, know what you’re looking for out of your divorce. Chances are, your financial and/or custody issues can’t be readily resolved if you’re actively pursuing legal representation. Your lawyer will advocate on your behalf, and is willing to do things that you’d rather not such as airing your spouse’s numerous affairs in a packed courtroom.
Listen to your gut when sitting in that office. Your divorce lawyer doesn’t have to have a Harvard law degree (though I’m sure one doesn’t hurt!) but should seem competent. On the other hand, if he’s talking more like a salesman and using words like “promise” or “guarantee” than this is a likely scam. Unfortunately, no matter how good your divorce attorney actually is, no matter how lousy your soon-to-be-ex acts in life, no one can guarantee what that judge will decide.
If you find yourself holding back important details about your divorce because you’re uncomfortable with the lawyer, then go find someone else. Keep looking, especially if your divorce court case might turn into yet another Lifetime movie.
You will need to tell your selected attorney things that you might not ever tell your best friend. He needs to know what exactly your ex-partner did, and any actions you might have done. This especially applies in cases of adultery or potential child abuse. If you can’t spill the evidence that just might get you that deserved alimony payment or sole custody of your children, then even a celebrity divorce lawyer can’t help you. He can only help you as much as you’re willing to help yourself, even if telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth is potentially embarrassing to both you and your ex.
