After the divorce, you feel that you are now ready to date. You want to put yourself out there and start dating someone. At this stage of dating after divorce, you have to be sure that you are over your ex. You should be able to think about your ex without murderous thought and intent, instead, you are settled with the divorce and you have accepted that you and your ex now have different lives. But before you go ahead and date, let’s have a list of some dos and dont’s in post divorce dating.
Let us start off with the ‘dos’
Do have fun.
Your first date after the divorce will reasonably set you on the edge. This is like the first date all over again. You become nervous, fidgety, palms sweaty and it is okay to be nervous. However, don’t let this get in the way of you having fun. Set yourself up to have fun. You’re only dating – nothing serious or at least not yet. Do think of happy thoughts and think of this date positively. This way, you are creating a positive vibe that will help create the mood of ease and fun.
Do prepare for your date.
This will be your date after a long time (at least with a different partner). You would want to look your best. Take time to dress nicely. Looking good will give you much confidence. Also, it doesn’t hurt to impress your date.
Do express yourself.
Be assertive. You are an equal participant in this date. You have a say to where you want to go or what you want to do. If your date suggests doing something you are not comfortable with, then say so. Do not be afraid of being assertive. Suggest on wonderful places you both might enjoy. Being assertive is a sign of confidence and self-esteem.
Do get to know your partner.
Part of the fun of dating is learning about your date. Do ask questions. Pay attention to what he is saying and pay attention to his actions too. Both give clues to the man or woman you are with. But as you ask him about himself, return the favor too. If the subject about relationships comes up, do tell him you are divorced. There is no shame in being divorced; you are being honest and upfront.
While you have the dos, you also have the don’ts
Don’t berate your date…for being a man.
Do not ask him why men are like this. Do not ask him why men do that. Do not listen to his answers and say, “I think you’re just”. You are in a date to have fun and to meet someone new. You are not there to grill the man and pry from him the secrets of their sex.
Do not talk about the ex – unnecessarily.
When you in front of your date, there might be times you compare him to your ex. But shake away those thoughts. Your date is not your ex. He is a different person and give him the chance to express yourself. At the same time, do not whine and talk about your ex as if the sole purpose of your date is to bash your ex. Your date is about the both of you. It is about two people getting to know each other and if lucky – finding that perfect partner. Do not ruin that chance by talking about your ex and putting him off in the process.
Do not choose topics such as sex, religion, and politics.
These subjects are too heavy at this point. Also, it distracts you from the two subjects that should be talked about. These subjects can lead to disagreements or difference of opinions. If those arise, there’s no telling how you will handle each other. It just might ruin what could possibly be a great date.
Don’t put in your mind that dating after divorce is difficult. You may feel nervous but your courage will be rewarded. But if you don’t feel so confident, a divorce advice can help you. Just know that you can do it. So, picked an outfit yet?
